The Graduation Advice I'll Never Get to Give

Since I didn't get into grad school, there's a strong chance that I might never take part in a graduation ceremony as anything more than a spectator. But ever since I auditioned (and didn't get selected) to be a commencement speaker for my high school graduation I've harbored the dream of one day being successful enough to be asked to speak at a graduation. I don't know if I'll ever get there, and there are certainly a large amount of celebrities and other notable persons who speak at college commencements and put graduates and families to sleep. (I don't remember a word of what my college commencement speaker said, let alone who he even was).

Some students are lucky though, (like my alma mater a few years before I graduated) get Presidents or other memorable persons to give a little value back to all that money they just dropped on a diploma.

If I ever become successful or notable enough to be asked to bestow wisdom and advice to 20-somethings in funny hats, I hope I can write a speech as perfect as the one that Rachel Maddow's to Smith College. It's a refreshing view, especially to graduates that "personal triumphs are overrated, and that some dreams are bad dreams." The idea being that instead of viewing life as short, and that you should try to live everyday, that hopefully life is long and you should endeavor to live a complete life that is worth bragging about instead of a selfish one that saw the most personal fame. To hear someone (given who is famous herself) denounce the value of fame and instead advise that people be "intellectually and morally rigorous in their decision making and surround themselves with people that do the same.

It's advice that's not really fashionable or popular, that you make wise decisions that may ensure you remain a small player that lives in obscurity rather than a big personality, decisions that may mean you are never rich, and never famous, and never get asked to speak at a college commencement, but that give you something to be proud to tell your grandkids you took part in. Maddow says to choose glory over fame, but in making the right and moral decisions, it's completely likely you'll never get either, but she's right in that you will be a better person to those around you and not bear the burden of having to justify your actions to anyone, most importantly yourself.

10 Things Everybody Needs to Do

Warning: this is a self-helpish type post based on Jezebel post from three months ago, that was based on an Esquire article. So basically it’s totally unoriginal, but really what isn’t anymore?

Anyway the Esquire article was all about “skills” that mens should master, so then Jezebel counters with 25 things ladies should learn to do, which was for the most part pretty right on. But really, for all of our differences, there’s a lot of things that both men and women do, if not for themselves, then for everyone. Because really, us humans are fucking up left and right (myself very much included) So here’s my list:

10 Things Everybody Needs to Do

1) Make Your Own Stuff.
Humans have become lazy, fat, stupid, and pretty useless in the past 50 or so years, and in the process most of us would be totally helpless if/when the whole giant machine o’ progress stopped. The Pioneers made their own homes, food, clothes, all of it. The least we can do is learn one practical skill. Plus I imagine you’d get a giant sense of satisfaction from creating something, and you’d save some money/not contribute to all the gross conspicuous consumption. If that's too much to ask, then maybe everyone should just learn how to do basic modern stuff, like un-clog a drain, or change a tire. Because no one should be that helpless.

2) Spend Some Time with a Kid.
Yeah sometimes they can be little jerks, but kids are so refreshingly un-adult. And face it, adults can be a real downer: jobs problems, relationship problems, drinking problems… Kids generally like fun stuff like playing and laughing. Plus it can suck being a kid, adults being un-jerk like to them every once in a while can help them too.

3) Live without Stuff.
Semi-related to knowing how to make your own stuff, knowing how to go without stuff is a infinitely valuable skill. How many times do all of us utter the words, “I need _____.” Unless the sentence ends with air, water, food, shelter, or health insurance, chances are no you don’t. It’s really remarkable how much people can live without, and more importantly how happy they can be without constantly wanting more stupid crap.

4) Take No For an Answer.
A lot can be said for not taking no for an answer, for pressing on in the face of rejection and adversity. And that’s just the problem; so much has been said that people are left thinking that the world owes them something, that they possess some sort of special talent or that they can wear people down if they are persistent enough. Perseverance isn’t always impressive, sometimes it just makes you look like a fool. You got to know when to fold ‘em….you got to know when to walk away.

5) Stop Thinking about Yourself.
It really doesn’t sound like much to ask, but think about how hard it is to spend an entire day not thinking about yourself. Nearly every big and small thing we do everyday is all kinds of me-focused. If everyone could spend one entire day thinking about how their loud talking at a concert, insistence on blocking subway doors, and unsolicited advice makes the rest of the people around them feel, it wouldn't fix the any global problems, but at least it might people more aware and day-to-day life less annoying.

6) Shut up.
Ah the sound of silence! Scary as hell. Rare too. There seems to be very little time during one's day where there isn't some noise, TV, music, talking. While you're at it, try cutting yourself off from the world for a day (no news, no cell phone, no TV, no Internet) What would occupy your mind if it wasn't constantly being distracted. Probably you would get very bored, which of course probably means you're boring, which we all are kind of. But it's good to come to that realization every once in a while.

7) Go Outside.
It's not everybody's thing, and that's fine. We don't all have to be "Into the Wild" types, and there tons of awesome stuff inside. But as cheesy as it sounds, being outside makes a person feel more alive. Nature can be pretty f-ing amazing, it can calm and excite a person more than anything on a screen. Also, while you're out there it wouldn't hurt to get a little exercise...

8) Read.
Yeah it's obvious to say, but if you pick the right books/magazines/papers, they really can change the way you look at life and the world. And even if you don't pick the right ones, it's probably still way better than what's on TV. Plus it gives you something to do on the train.

9) Quit Something.
I've quit lots of things in my life (meat, drinking, men, soda, TV, MySpace), some successfully and some less so. If nothing else it gives you a sense of power and control when you follow through, and a better understanding of willpower, desire, and yourself when you don't.

10) Love Someone.
I almost didn't want to write it for how trite it is, but really it's an essential part of being a human. Not just having affection for, or infatuation with, or desire for someone, but loving someone so much that it's scary and painful and the most wonderful thing ever.