AwesomeK’s Big Adventure

I grew up in a very small town, a town that outsiders call “quaint,” and locals think would be great if only we could get a TGIF. Up to the age of 18 the most exotic location I ever traveled to was Niagara Falls. But in my post-adolescence, I made it a mission of sorts to do a lot of traveling: solo road trips and many other random U.S. destinations, not to mention a plethora of European locations during and since my time living abroad. Yet since I’ve been living in “The World’s Capital” all of my travels have been either to visit a friend or loved one, or an exploration of a new place with a friend or loved one.

So it’s long over due then, that I, AwesomeK, step out into the world on my own again. For the next nine days I will be rainforest-exploring, hot spring lounging, volcano-hiking, and otherwise adventuring in Costa Rica. I hope to come back without too many mosquito and monkey bites, having mastered how to say, “I’m a vegetarian” in Spanish, and who knows, maybe a little changed, or at least tan.

Until then, AwesomeK has left the building…

If this is the World’s Capital, What does that say about the World?

1) Sure, in any densely populated place people will wait in line for ridiculously long amounts of time for often ridiculously stupid things (i.e. products with a lower case i in front of them) But that’s their own damn problem, because if you are misguided enough to camp out or stand in the rain/snow/sleet for an overpriced piece of plastic, you are both a sucker and a fool and deserve everything that rains down upon your head.

Waiting hours in lines around the block to get into family court, is another thing all together. Sure, The New York Times could do a story on some of the million billion other problems with the justice system (especially the family justice system) but at least they have finally written a story somewhat about poor people that actually points to how f*cked the system is that aims to keep them completely demoralized.

Here’s a thought, if you can’t let people on the stairs, and can’t figure out how to fix the elevators, maybe you could let the few people at a time that are missing a court date while standing outside the building use the sacred elevators that the judges use, so they will have a case to judge. I'm just saying.

2) Completely unrelated, but also absurdly ridiculous: Pillow Fight Club. It sounds like something I would have made up with my friends when I was 7-years-old. But these people are adults, and aren’t living in quaint Midwestern town in the 1980s. Plus even as a small girl I wouldn’t have been so one-dimensional to think of a tie-breaking rule like this: “Fighters have been known to get eliminated at this point (a tie) based on outfit choice alone.”

Update: Turns out "pillow fight club" is not a New York invention (although I'm sure they'll try to claim it like everything else). There's even a website: www.pillowfightclub.org and a wikipedia page.

It really does seem more and more that Devo was right.

Terror Rocks My Hometown

Except not really...the suicide/murder that they were talking about actually happened in the next town over, and people have been writing dumbass notes like that at the high school for years. It is kind of amusing how quaint and close knit they try to make Plainwell seem though, yeah it’s small, but I didn’t know all 4,000 people that lived there like that lady who’s hair salon that has been open for less than five years would have you believe. Still this is the biggest thing to happen there since we won the state powerlifting title in 1998, maybe now they'll finally take it off the city limit sign.