Getting catcalled is not a matter of attractiveness, it’s a numbers game. Especially in a city of 8 million, the average woman is bound to get “hollared” at sooner or later.
It becomes then a matter of points for creativity rather than existence or frequency.
I haven’t been the recipient of many catcalls since my tenure at the world’s capital began, but two of my all time favorites included:
“Hey, girl can I send you a text message?”
“Hey Cracker! (yelled at someone across the street as I walked in front of them) …oooh, not you- sorry about that!”
This morning however I got the old school traditional woo-woo whistle from the construction workers next to my apartment. And some said they had cleaned up their acts..
So as much as my fellow directors of the vagina monologues would hate me for saying it, at 8am, such a good morning greeting, while totally crass, can be as uplifting as the stale office coffee (it’s not what you want, but it will give you a little boost for a few minutes)
Sunday, September 24, 2006
The idea of subjecting the world to your terrible sense of humor by displaying it on your T-shirt is certainly not a new one.
However this weekend the streets and subways seemed to have exploded with them. Below, a list of the shirts that I saw this weekend:
* “Define Girlfriend”: I’m guessing this means that the charming chap wearing it is in a relationship, and is not only open to pretending that he isn’t given the right temptation, but that he is brazen enough to wear his intentions on his sleeve, or rather his chest. I just wonder if he wears it when out with this girlfriend that he doesn’t want to define.
Ray mentioned that he had been seeing this one a lot and I naively assumed that it must be a Florida thing. Surely the enlightened, mature residents of the “world’s capital” would not be so douche-baggy…totally…
* “If he’s Rich, I’m his Bitch”: Ah, ladies don’t think you have been left out in the disgraceful t-shirt market. Yes this lovely, yet assuredly ill-fitting shirt has the power to at the same time make you look like the crude floozy that the “rich boy” you are after would definitely be interested in, and set back the women’s movement another 30 years. And who said words didn’t have power?
* “Maybe he’s born with it…”: With what exactly I think the jury is still out on. The slight comic twist to this one was that it was worn by a pasty, gawky dungeon and dragon enthusiast. So either he was wearing it for sheer ironic purposes (I hear the irony is big with the kids these days) or he was referring to his brain..yeah, his brain…
* “Marriage is Gay”: At first I gave this guy the same look I give to men when I see them oggolying women in the street because the insult of calling something you don’t like “gay” reminds me too much of the boys in middle school that I hated. But then as I contemplated the shirt a bit more I thought that perhaps it was a brilliant political statement, as in Marriage is FOR gays too. So I changed my scowl to a knowing nod, thusly securing my standing as neighborhood crazy lady.